Waiting

I am waiting
I know that I should not but I am
Have you captured my imagination and solitude
A game I play with boundaries I set I now wish to cross

More than distance of miles
I cannot reach out and touch you
Nor steal a look from your eyes
Seeking what thoughts traverse your mind

Searching history of conversations
For snippets, for evidence
A key, any key that might open a door

Rational, logical mind says foolish
And I want to return to indifference
Is this just a thrill of a chase
Filling a void of unwanted seclusion

Your are my iniquitous secret
Only one other knows of you existence
And they partially a stranger too
Oh what tenuous and veiled lines we can dance

There is an arousing of feeling
Emotions are starting to turn
I crave the safety, the warmth of apathy
And I laugh to myself as read those words
Such imprudence really – apathy
Not an emotion or feeling common to me

And in that does there sit my answer
That this diversion I found would not release me
Only twist and entangle me
Aloofness, detachment and objectivity –
Required tools for a game
Maybe I should not have ever commenced

And so for now
I sit and I wait